The December Rendezvous is out

The December issue of the Rendezvous is out and being distributed. Please pick up your free copy at one of our regular distribution points - or subscribe to enter prize-draws and receive the magazine ahead of everybody else.

My husband sneaks about replacing light bulbs with low energy tubes

November 2008
Now that we have entered the dark months when children catch the morning bus by starlight and come home after nightfall, I love nothing more than drawing the curtains, turning back the covers and turning on the desk and bedside lights to make their rooms cosy and welcoming to celebrate their return.

To me, there is nothing more depressing than entering a dark room or returning to a cold, unlit house after an evening out.

I grew up among adults moulded by the post-war austerity years - in freezing houses where ice formed on the inside of windows and face creams froze in the bathroom. “Turn out the lights” was a constant refrain.

I vowed then that when I grew up and had my own home, lights would burn all over the house and my family would never shiver around a sole source of meagre heating, pulling on another jumper.

And I would be wasteful! Chuck left overs in the bin rather than think about the starving millions and throw out perfectly usable clothes; replace rather than mend, buy pre-washed salads and eat strawberries in winter. (This, of course, was the Dallas era)

Now here I am, head of my own household, drifting about turning lights on and the heating up, having deep hot baths instead of showers and jumping in the car because: if God meant us to walk, why did He invent the wheel?

And instead of nagging parents, suddenly there’s a generation of eco-warriors snapping at our heels, checking food miles and tutting because you didn’t put your used Kleenex in the recycling box.

Yes, I am blessed with children intent on saving the planet. I plug my mobile in to charge only to discover - when I need to make a call - that some laudably conscientious child had unplugged the charger. Slump into a chair and reach for the remote only to find that the television has been switched off at source.

Meanwhile my husband sneaks about replacing light bulbs with those awful low energy tubes which take half an hour to warm up and give less light than a dead glowworm.

I don’t care how many times people assure me that they are now much better than the early prototypes and you can barely tell the difference. You can. They’re as cheery as a naked light bulb in an interrogation chamber.

Cheap flights, year round fruit and veg., handy aerosols, 4x4s were all invented to make life more fun but then up pops a scientist warning us that these are the Devil’s toys.

Luckily for the planet, however, we’re now facing a capitalist meltdown that has billionaires panicking, the ghost of Karl Marx tittering over Highgate cemetery and the rest of us counting out the centimes.

One way or another, life is determined to keep us wringing out our used tea bags. Actually, the New Frugality may not be 100% good news for the planet. Replacing the old banger with a green model or sticking solar panels and windmills all over the roof are luxury investments that may now have to be struck off priority spending lists.

But, certainly, we will all be looking for ways to cut down on waste and spending.

Who dares turn on their oil central heating this winter? Who is not now factoring in petrol costs to the children’s activities and heading to Lidl and Aldi for the unglamorous basics like loo roll, and floor cleaner?

Over the coming months, the Rendezvous will be greeting the challenge of the New Frugality and looking at ways to trim the household budget - without, of course, sinking entirely into gloom and despair.

Now, I’d better go and turn on a low-energy tube before the children get home.

Many thanks to all those who completed our readers’ questionnaire at Faire Play and congratulations to Gail Redhead who won lunch for two at the ever popular Le Robbery in Vire (now under new management - bookings 02 31 67 28 43).

Your answers tell us how popular the Noticeboard and, especially, Marketplace sections are; that many readers are living on their own and that you want more recipes, history and advice as well as articles on animals and horses, walks, boating and cheap living.

We are always pleased to get reader feedback and do our best to cater to all requests. Look out for our columns on bargain-hunting and being a small-holder in our even better Rendezvous in the New Year.

Also in the New Year, we will be phasing in a small charge for the Rendezvous. Our costs are rising, just as they are for the businesses who wish to advertise with us, and thanks to whom the magazine has been free for the past two and a half years. Introducing a charge will allow us to cut our advertising rates whilst continuing to improve the magazine, and to increase our print run to satisfy rising demand for the Rendezvous.

This will mean some adjustment to our distribution points but as it will also allow us to be present in local newsagents, this will make collecting your monthly copy more convenient for many readers. See our December issue for a list of where to find your magazine from January 2009.

Unlike a broken heart money problems can be overcome

October Blog

By moving to France we have, to some extent, distanced ourselves from excessive consumerism and crazy credit as well as from the panic engulfing the US and UK as financial institutions topple like dominos.

This doesn’t make us immune, however, to financial insecurity. Food and fuel prices have rocketed here too and those of us with oil heating are dreading turning it on for winter. The euro value of sterling pensions or savings has been slashed, jobs are hard to come by and those trying to run their own business in France often live on a financial knife edge.

When debts start mounting while income dwindles, sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel appears just too far away and the future demands more energy than we believe we can muster.

Few of us can have failed to be shocked by the events at Osbaston House at the start of this school year.

Millionaire Christopher Foster shot dead his horses, dogs and even the chickens. He murdered his much-loved daughter, his wife and then, having barricaded the property, set it alight before returning to his wife’s side to shoot himself.

Time was running out; bailiffs were due the following day as Foster’s £2 million worth of debts were about to catch up with him.

So Foster displayed all the cowardice of the man who cannot face failure. And he showed love - albeit deranged and misguided - for his family (and pets) , by taking them with him rather than leave them to face the consequences without him. (Although his mother is still alive, and grieving.) While the Black Dog is with us, ending it all holds a fleeting attraction. If you love your family too much to leave it mother- (or father-) less, taking loved ones with you has a perverse logic.

But Foster was wrong. When a person kills themself over an irreparable (so they believe) broken heart or following a terrible tragedy or because they are terminally ill and in pain, the death is tragic, of course, especially for those left behind, but at least it is not banal.

But when a man (or woman, although women are less likely to kill themselves over money troubles) commits suicide over his debts (or a teenager over poor exam results) there is none of the poetry of a broken heart or tragic life; it is just plain pointless.

Unlike a broken heart or terminal illness, money problems (and bad results) can be overcome; they are not worth the ultimate sacrifice.

So what? you may be thinking. Millionaire tops himself because he can’t maintain his “must have” lifestyle. His daughter may have had to give up her horses and enter the local comp.
But are not all of us aboard the same consumer merry-go-round, just on a smaller scale?

We are likely to see much more money-related despair in coming months as house repossessions and job losses kick in; the ability to cope with “failure” will serve as an increasingly valuable life skill.

Like most of those who kill themselves over money problems, Foster had kept his debts secret from his friends and family.

According to UK debt counselling agencies - and they only see people whose debts are already pretty bad - one third of their files are marked “partner unaware”. It is bizarre that couples who may happily discuss how to raise their children or celebrate Christmas do not, or cannot, talk about their spending.

OK, we’ve all hidden a bag of new shoes from a partner and then pretended we’ve had them for ages. But seriously, it is secret money problems - like secret drinking, secret pornography, secret gambling - which destroy relationships, marriages, families - and lives.

Had he come clean, Foster would probably, have discovered that he had a practical wife who would have told him “we can get through this. Here’s what we do.” And a daughter who may have cried when her ponies had to be sold, but who would have grown up into a strong young woman able to tell the story of “When my Dad lost everything… and we survived.”

What matters is that you have health and you have loved ones - if you have these two you are already pretty damn well off. Foster’s tragedy was not his debts but that he had travelled too far along the path of despair, alone, to see sense.

Drink of hemlock, if you must, when your heart or body are broken. Not over a pile of IOUs.

Regular blog readers will remember how we took in, out of the kindness of our hearts, an English Setter who had been abandoned when his owner returned to the UK leaving the dog chained to the empty property.

And how does he repay us? Step forward eight adorable little pups, just born to the resident Golden Retriever.

They will be looking for loving homes soon. But, before you take on a(nother) dog, be sure you really want it - for life. Animal rescue workers report an increasing number of dogs being abandoned - literally left wandering empty houses or the streets in some cases - by Brits moving back to the UK. Before you offer to rehouse one of these dogs, or offer a home to a cute little puppy, read our new animal care and behaviour expert Jon Moir’s advice on page 18 of this issue.